The Top 5 Things I Hate To See In A Book: #3
The continuation of a brief series of posts, in no particular order,
about things I hate to see in a book.
Like...
Too Many
Characters!
I was reading a book not too long ago which was set in Italy and had a
very large cast of characters. Three of
them were named Gino, Nino and Pino - give me a break! I'm not saying it's impossible or even
unlikely that a large group of people in Italy would include a Gino, a Nino and
a Pino. I am saying that the author
could have picked any names - you know, like ones that DON'T rhyme that would
better distinguish one character from another.
These characters weren't triplets or even related. The reader needed to be able to
distinguish one from another.
Then I read another book by a different author. A very long book, more than seven hundred
pages. This one also featured a large
cast of characters. Two important ones
were called - well, let's just say they were called Lucy and Ethel. No rhymes and the names don't look or sound
anything alike, so ten points for that.
But even after spending seven hundred pages with these people, at the
end I STILL couldn't keep straight which one was Lucy and which one was
Ethel. I don't think the author ever
described their physical appearances.
You've got to give the reader something to hang that mental hat on -
some way to remember who's on first. Physical
descriptions are an excellent way to do that, but it could be a habit that
character has or a way of speaking. Some
kind of HELLO MY NAME IS name tag the reader subconsciously associates with
that character.
There's no need to be Dickensian in one's appellations, although who
doesn't enjoy a good Slyme, Barnacle or Tulkinghorn? (not to mention the Dedlocks and the
Smallweeds!) But, as a reader, I
certainly appreciate the writer who helps me identify and keep track of the
characters by giving them distinctive names.
And I don't appreciate writers who clog up their stories with way too
many characters. I'm not one for epics
spanning generations for this very reason.
(THE THORN BIRDS was one notable exception.) This is all probably somehow related to why I
prefer solo or chamber music over symphonic.
And also to why I never liked condiments much.
Now - of course - Dickens wrote some really long books filled with a
zillion characters. And I'm a big fan of
his. But Dickens was a genius. If you're a genius, go for it. Otherwise, maybe keep that story pure and
uncluttered. Hold the mayo. Gino is fine, but Nino and Pino can take an escursione as far as I'm concerned.
In my work in progress, there is a minor (but still important) character
named Marcus. Then my protagonist
started talking to a really minor character, a bartender named Magnus. Darn it!
I really liked the name Magnus for that guy, but it's way too close to
Marcus. I'll save Magnus for another
book or short story and instead call that guy...Porter? Something completely un-Marcus-like, that's
for sure.
So just to recap, things I don't like to see in a book include Bad Editing and Too Many Characters (with names
that don't help!). Up next - it's a bad
case of Adventure-itis...
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