Identifying That Rare Breed, The Published Author, In Her Native Habitat

Dear Reader,

If you, like me, still visit actual bookstores from time to time, keep an eyeball out for another customer who cannot wipe a goofy grin off her face. You may have just spotted an Author who has seen her own book on the shelf:
A Barnes & Noble in a dreary East Coast city last weekend
DO NOT APPROACH THE AUTHOR!!! Although docile in appearance, she may be about to move from the blissful state of LOOK THERE'S THE BOOK I WROTE ON AN ACTUAL SHELF IN AN ACTUAL BOOKSTORE to the more dangerous mindset of *&^%$#@! THAT MEANS MY BOOK IS SITTING ON THE SHELF BECAUSE NO ONE HAS BOUGHT IT.

Also, please do not feed the Author. She could stand to lose a few.

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